Day at the beach

For 5 yrs. now my baby boy Smokey has been terrified of water in virtually every form. Sprinklers, standing, tubs, pools basically any water not in a dog dish he freaks out and has broken his fair share groomer baths. I wanted to see what he would do at the beach so today he and I went for some fun. He ran the beach, up the hills and in and out of the trees. I stepped into the water and he cautiously approached, sniffed it, touched a paw in it and bolted away. I laughed and looked away towards the family across the lake screaming a second later I heard what sounded like a one man stampede. I turned in time to see a flying dog leap past me past any footing in the water and was in deep. Having never done this it took him a minute to get his legs to work. The current was very strong and so excited he went with it swimming faster and further out than I could. I frantically ran, dove in and swam in the ice cold water swimming hard yelling for him. He finally looked back at me so far away with his tongue out the side of his mouth very pleased with himself realized my command and turned to obey. Paddling as hard as he could until he reached me and tackled me in the water dunking me in in his excitement. I was honestly still freaking out a bit for his safety as well as my own. We made it to a beach further down and walked back towards the car. I swear he would chest bump me if he could. He was stoked! Jumping, wiggling midair, and leaping around like an excited new born deer. Charging me, jumping on me and throwing his paws on each of my shoulders. We headed back to the car, Smokey was so excited he could hardly contain it. A car driving down the road luckily saw an excited Smokey running up to her when she stopped he stood up and looked in her window as if to say “you got to try that water stuff!”. She said he was too cute and I apologized a few dozen times. I popped my trunk with my keys to get his attention and he was off to the car. Circling it kicking up sand and dust and within moments my clean back seat looked like I held mud wrestling tournaments over the weekends in there. He had to show everyone what he did when we got home so excited he jumped onto Chelsea paws on her shoulders over and over he had to tell her everything. He is now past out cold at my feet and I am going to get me some ginger tea and enjoy the quiet.

Games

As kids we learned our greatest of life's lessons through play. We'd play house, one always self proclaimed dictator decides who is what role, what they say and is open to rewriting the script at anytime. We play teacher, Mommy, barbies or beauty salon. We decide the rules, who we will be and we can pause and stop whenever we want. As we get older we are programmed to loose the childlike excitement for creating our own realities and are programmed to fall in line, look straight ahead and blindly believe what we are taught and to not ask questions. Free thinking is unacceptable. we are allowed simulations of our childlike escapes in many expensive electronic forms. Transported by movies, TV and gaming systems to a world of fantasy and make believe. Some find peace in that (sheep's of the flock) "direct me, lead me and I will follow". Others rebel the only way they think they can(snapping turtles with hard shells) "I'll dress, act and speak with intent to shock. Tell me to go left and I will go right even if off a cliff just to prove I chose my own way!" My favorite though I am bias is the children at heart. Those that choose to open their eyes and see the wonders around them. Creating and saying a word of thanks for all they are given. They play as children do, creating realities they can step in and out of. Roles they create and get lost in to explore, learn amd even fly. They have a spirituality and sense of connectivity with the universe. An understanding that we create our worlds we can always grow and learn create and become. Put out what you take in and like Dr emoto and countless others have shown energy and thoughts alone can change our lives and put us on our chosen path. The hardest part is harnessing ones inner power. True sexuality demands the destruction of the ego. To face yourself, confront yourself all excuses aside. Most importantly lesson is to truly love yourself and in part trusting enough in yourself to let go. See yourself as human, grow where you can and look to your spirit guides. I am Aiyana. I am growing, I am creating, I am strong and I have only just begun.

California play

Just moved to California and what a difference it is here. Everyone plays at their own level and I respect that. My level of play and their level of play differ quite a bit. Finding that partner that doesn't see me as too extreme proved difficult. Through a fetish community website I met a Dom that goes by the name of Thoro. We exchanged emails while sizing each other up. Hearing that I am very hard core he was not deterred, he was old school trained and could meet my level of play. We met at a Starbucks down town and he wanted me within moments. Pushing me to leave with him however this was new experience for me. All Tops I've played with I knew previously and witnessed them play first hand. This was a man in a new city, no connections to anyone I knew and have never witnessed him play first hand. I text my sister the license plate, make and model of his car his picture and contact info. He suggested a sleazy hotel a few blocks away and after wieghing the pros and cons I decided I desired to feel my flesh come alive and needed to relinquish that control and just trust. I admit I do not enjoy humiliation or being treated like a whore per-say but I found the front desk clerk very amusing. We entered the office and I admittedly look much younger than I am and he was obviously much older, the clerk assumed we were father daughter. He very casually and sure of the fact asked if we wanted two queens or a queen and a cot. When Thor0 said just one queen thank you the desk clerk shot his eyes up in disgust. Looked at Thor0 and then over at me, looked me up and down and like a catty bitch clicked his tongue and shook his head and looked back at the receipt. I could hardly contain my laugh and once outside I explained my reaction to a fairly confused Top. I said with a strut "Come, take your slut to our room for the hour". He expressed he desired to do an inspection and I was again in new territory. We didn't do inspections in SLC, well not with those I played with. We knew every inch of each other and how the other played before we even negotiated. He instructed me to strip in front of him, place my hands behind my head and stand with my legs spread apart. His hands all over me, his mouth taking in my flesh, his teeth marking me in hidden places and consuming me. His fingers within my wet silk and tight unlubricated ass owning me, taking me and possessing any part of me that was still mine. Beating my breasts hard leaving black hand prints along my virgin flesh untouched in such a way before. I did not enjoy his rough handedness with my breasts my nipple bleeding and flesh blackened. His teeth in my back his hands striking my ass and thighs with only moments of breast play the discomfort was brief but intense. His hand on my lower back he instructed me to bend over the bed. This bed comforter was ridiculously childlike with bright colors, dinosaurs, Tonka trucks, flamingos, planes, trains and automobiles. Sub space was surprisingly not easy to come by. With every new position a new part of my body was devoured and possessed. Embracing my inner sexual kitten, arms stretched out before me, face smashed into that ridiculous comforter, ass stretched out as if welcoming his fingers into my sex. The contradicting sensation of his fingers consuming my wet silk, the invasion of my tight unlubricated ass and the welting of my once freshly tanned flesh now black and a deep maroon. Keeping myself honest, Sir is still the only man to ever make me cum but in the end he held me and expressed a desire to see me again. I was instructed that he will not only fuck me but push my boundaries and in that he was not going to hear anything but a code word and in that code word the fun and games would stop. He bid farewell to his little motel whore and drove away. Since that day I have found a procrastination to playing with him again, our scene being more flagellation and less exchange I admit I wasn’t that impressed. I will say I do not have all the facts in my possession given the nature of the scene; we shall see. When I approached Sir with the tale of thor0 and our scene he simply said “So Thor0, ummmm ya……” and left it at that. Days of pleading with him to expand what he meant by that. Feeling an anticipation as though I had a vibrator on my clit but unable to cum for his words. Leaving me waiting, wanting as Sir does so very well and like an orgasmic release I got my answer. Though it was nothing I didn’t already know the fact was that He knew it, He knew his little one. His critique so loving and spot on, pointing out that I was not impressed. That I should reflect on our(Sir and his little one) play VS with Thor0, could I tell him one occasion in which I remembered the blankets on his bed or clothes he was wearing. He could hear the distance in my words about Thor0 greatly differing from the connection with him, the lack of energy exchange and that I was to examine it and my state of mind at the time. Strange that even 700 miles away he can still create that feeling of a full scene release over text. In every way possible I continue to serve him and though only in small windows of availability He’s still Sir to his little one and in that I am blessed.

Sir and his little one

I am one who plays and fucks as a top, I will bottom but never really relinquishing control. Feeling the flogger cut through me heavy and thuddy it demands my immediate attention and I release. The sharp stinging of an implement such as a cane is not something Ive been able to really enjoy, I find I cant release. I enjoy the cigars burning my flesh, the needle piercing my flesh and hooks suspending me by my flesh. As a top in play I love returning that sensation of pleasure and pain. With sex with men (toys) I only top and they love to feel dominated, used and I love to deliver. I never cum with men(toys), I love to dominate them and make them beg for that which they want the most. I teas until they reach that ultimate release of pleasure. Toys are a delicious treat and so easy to dismiss once I am finished it sounds cold but please believe me it is not. Women require a more delicate approach with uhauls in toe, a suave and yet fragile balance to seduce and maintain distance from the empty drawer's found consumption. I am a soul of great passion and compassion, I give my shirt to the stranger on the street and cry during commercials. I believe that our bodies are simple pluming and transportation for the souls to experience as much of this life as we can take in. I connect with energy and souls not the shells and love everyone I have in my life and know that I guard myself against those I cant read, but in play I am primal fire of passion, sensual enthrallment and want to feel my transported shell come alive with pain and/or pleasure. Pain allows me to carry that Ecstasy with me for days at time. When I sit on or graze my bruises I am there all over again and find myself getting wet with every brush and shift in pressure along my welted flesh. I thought I knew this part of me, the switch that will bottom but prefers to top and will never and repeated never release into sub space, just cant be done. April,2012 I was sitting in the cafeteria at work, my friends having just gotten up to return to work from their 15min breaks leaving me alone with my phone for the rest of my lunch. A powerful soul approached me, I felt him before I saw him and when I finally found his gaze, this was no toy. A brawny, bald and powerful soul his eyes held me and in a powerful yet non threatening voice said "As to not offend you if I am wrong I will only say one word.... Fetlife". A charge filled me with such heat, a soul such as this that plays as I play. We sat and visited the rest of my lunch and surrendering my number I walked away with fantasies of this powerful Dom standing over my welted ass and wondering if I would SAM or welcome it sensually. Time passed and we exchanged photos and texts all the while he called me little one which i scoffed and dismissed teasing that I will not be dominated. We discussed playing in various senses of the word, I remember warning him that I do not cum with men so don't feel disappointed it wasn't personal. About 1am about a week after our introduction I was speaking on the phone with a friend. I received a text asking if I wanted to come over and talk with him away from prying work ears and without auto correct irritations. I remember the excitement of that night, his home the first thing you see off the freeway lit up like a stage with only a chain link fence, people walking around the complex and I didn't care. Though sex did not actually take place hours of sexual play, teasing and mind fucking took place with an audience of countless people and the police station just across the street. I remember he asked how well I took orders and ordered me to cum for him. For the first time I did not insure control or fight the idea of a man saying such a thing to me and felt myself cum around his large powerful fingers. the rest of the night is blur all i remember is sub space my head on his knee with his hand stroking my hair. I left feeling so lost within myself, where did I go? how did he do that? a curl in the corner of my lip thinking, this is going to be fun. A fear of the loss in self control would take over me at rare moments and I found myself drawing lines in the sand via text a few times to reassure more myself then anything that I was safe to trust this and he just allowed me that without judgement. Honest every step of the way I expressed myself to him how I felt, the head space and its esotericism to me and the excitement of the challenge he possessed within that for me, with every text I was safe to just be and was received without judgement. The following Saturday while a block away from a friends house to pick her up for work I received a text that he desired me, time was limited and to come. I found the phone in my hand reading the response that my friend could find a ride and I was now driving in the opposite direction. I entered his bedroom and at first fought sub space but I could only fight for so long. I have never felt such Ecstasy as I did when he entered me that first time, he was definitely not a toy. Children asleep downstairs I stayed quiet though my body screamed for him. Many different times in many different ways he took me that day, I came with every consumption and only the first time did we use a condom. With an unused condom pressed up against my face I for the first time ever didn't care about complete self control, and I was his little one. Between each rapture of my flesh he held me stroking my head and back with his hand and I did not fight it but welcomed it. So many firsts that day nearly sending me into a panic so I just allowed myself to revel and not over think. In the moments where my mind would get away from me and felt the twinge of "WTF was I thinking", he just allowed me to be panicked and in that I let go of it and trusted again. He asked me about why I have toys and not men, why I kick them out immediately after and what makes him so different. All I could say in response was that they did not challenge me, they were easy to use and toss aside but with Sir.... I was challenged and consumed within him it intrigued me and I wanted more. After days of trying to squeeze within his crazy schedule of demanding people in his life that i didn't feel gave enough in return I wanted to serve my Sir as dutifully as I could. In those days later I was invited over again to massage his sore body and was teased with promise of being filled and yet it was withheld. In the past I found no greater turn off or form of submission then to allow a man to enter my mouth, the idea of the penises state after a day of urination, sweat and god only knows what else... it was not acceptable and I would never. I found within the end of the massage my wanting lips welcoming him into me but only for a few moments before he in a powerful swift motion had me pinned, his dominant body over mine. I found myself pleading in a way that a voice in my head said "what are you doing you pathetic fool?" but i didn't care. My pleas were heard and out came the toy bag. Sharp stingy implements after another were revealed and I cringed at the sight of each one. I expressed that I did not like stingy play and would need a warm up. Sirs voice commanding and hypnotic, instructed that I assume the position and I only cringed and moved once. The command in his voice when I disobeyed and moved away from the sharp sting of the next strike over powered my body's discomfort and I found pleasure in my obedience, released and flew. Finding my body willingly reaching out towards the next strike welcoming it, wanting it, obeying my Sir. My ass now welted and on fire begging for Sir to consume me, take me, fill me up. He refused and when I obeyed and ceased my pleas he was inside me against my raw tenderized flesh, with the house empty I did not hold back. I came harder and flew higher then I have ever been. Trying to find my legs Sir looked at me and in an almost word for word to what I would say to my toys asked me if I enjoyed myself and to drive safe when I left there's the door. In a soft Sir voice asked how it felt to be on the other side. With any other person I would have felt upset by this but I found the lesson in my Sir's words and with a grin I stumbled out (as if I was on my second bowl) with a tender kiss he once again called me his little one and told me to text him when I was home safe. The next day I could not find a bruise in site though I could barely walk or sit. My eagerness and willingness to receive my Sirs blows, welcomed every strike to the inner flesh of my ass hidden away unless exposed. From that day on though not collared I was little one without question of his actions, I remember telling him if he so desired it, I would sit on the floor at his side at work in front of my coworkers and would not think twice. I found great pleasure in my flirtations and dates with other men or women while speaking to my sir simultaneously seeing the great differences in all three. Time became very limited for Sir and I wanted so to get in as much of this new part of me as I could. Almost a week later I was asked to come over and type a story he had written. I was only coming in a service capacity and my head space should be as such. Laptop in hand I knelt at his feet and tried to keep up with his fast pace as he read the story aloud, two-thousand something words later he was kind enough to allow me a rest for the night, my fingers not cooperating after a full day of typing at work as well, secretly becoming very turned on by Sirs story and forgetting to type lost in his words and imagery. I was instructed he desired a massage and I followed Sir up the stairs to serve him. I massaged his flesh putting aside my desire to be consumed by it, I was there to serve. Since that day outside I discovered that Sir enjoyed and was soothed by the way I massage and run my nails along his balls, and I found a desire in that to please him. His flesh exposed I massaged his body taking pleasure in his moans and the soft touch of his hand on my leg I needed nothing more. While rubbing his back I arched down and massaged his welcoming balls in my mouth. When asked what I was doing I was afraid I displeased him for not obeying but he allowed me to continue and for the second time ever(Sir being the only man I allowed to enter me that way and like sex in the past I refused the thought of not using a condom if I were to allow it and yet again the (deal breaking) condom was not present) I welcomed this man into my mouth. As if a form of worship I took great care to please him, two hours of worship and I could have continued for many more. I welcomed Sir into me filling me up as he released taking a pleasure I never thought possible welcoming him into me in such a way. My body only gagged once before my little one head space over powered my bodies natural reaction welcoming it and wanting it. I was dismissed with praise and did not know how to tell Sir that was first time in all reality pleasing a man in such a way and how I welcomed his praise in that. Throughout my time with Sir I was also pursuing his beautiful wife I named her my LT or little tease. She enjoys the control and torment of those who pursue her and knowing this from Sir I fed into that and it gave me pleasure knowing what it did to her. One morning I received a text from my LT saying she desired a tea and a massage but was too lazy laying in bed naked to get her a tea and what ever would she do about the massage. This time I played coy and wanted to hear her say that she wanted me. I was victorious and with tea and lotion in hand we made our way up to the bedroom. Now it is important to know a rule was in place we three were not allowed to tell what we have done or spoken(I could not tell Sir what LT and I had done or said nor could she tell him). So knowing her address and location of the bedroom proved a bit tricky but not a word was said. We visited for a moment and with a cheeky grin lifted her foot in my direction and said "Well get to it". This is going to be fun, I covered every inch of my lt's body teasing but only teasing. She was in my world now I want her to say the words, relinquish control and I was going to show her how naughty lt's were for waiting so long. Now on her stomach I spanked my naughty lt repeatedly leaving beautiful red hand prints along her exquisite bubbled ass. With the heat so fine and color so lovely she rolled over to expose her eyes glossed over and a smile so delicious I leaned in and kissed her. Taking her pierced nipples into my mouth I felt for her wet silk and found her in a puddle of that wanting. I slid my fingers in massaging her Gspot with my fingertips teasing her G spot her clit with the palm of my hand but only for a moment. A fresh hand print now on her inner thigh, the freshly red flesh in my hand as I squeezing, twisting and slowly released the flesh along my almost penetrating nails. I repeated this over and over again, pleasure then pain but keeping her in consistent anticipation alternating and combining pain with pleasure. Dark bruising forming along her thighs and ass my lips found her left breast just above the nipple and in this moment she was going to be mine and cum to me. Combining the pain of my mouth sucking her breast and my fingers lighting up her Gspot my palm massaging her clit my other hand through her hair. My little tease came to me and I felt her release finding delight in removing my lips to find a dark deep bruise on her exquisite breast. Breathing heavily I afford her no time to collect herself, I tease her overly sensitive silky wet clit running my nails over her bruised flesh causing such glorious shutters and moans of pleasure. My god she was so beautiful in that moment I will never forget the light that radiated from her. I whispered "to think you put this off for how long?" and kissed her. Still fully dressed I left the room, she tried to walk me down the stairs but could not move. I told her she should just stay in that moment I would text her later. While pulling out of the parking lot of their condo I received a text with one word....."Busted" it was from Sir. I tried to play coy but he told me to can the bull shit he is home his wife is spread eagle on the bed bruised with soaked sheets with a dopey grin on her face he knows I was there. He demanded I tell him everything after arguing the rules I was given her permission and with pleasure I described in great detail how he was able to find her the way he did finishing with "it was not my fault Sir she was naughty and needed to be punished". He reminded me I was his little one so why did she get such treatment and he was left wanting. I asked how I may serve him, my only response was get back over here suck me off and she will fuck you from behind. I returned as fast as my car would allow and once upstairs I was told that I was going to be punished and to strip and assume the position, I did not hesitate or argue. Unless you enjoy pain I do not recommend you go second with a switch because I was now in her world and she brought a very powerful man with very powerful implements. If you are like me and enjoy pain its the best move you could have made. Tandem topped and again the damn stingy toys striking my flesh I felt myself light up like a star just after dusk, after what feels like glorious hours of this I feel a sharp edge wood like object make its way between my now wet silk and hear my Sirs voice ask how I like the feel of his cock so close to penetrating me. I in a haze and without much thought replied that was not my Sirs cock, once the question of how I knew that is not your Sirs cock left his lips my hazy mind realized my near mistake and responded I know it is not because it is wooden and sharp my Sir would not posses anything so unpleasant. It must have been the right response because I felt a smooth deliciousness inside my welcoming aching pussy and then another popping my anal cherry, another first in another night of countless firsts. Feeling the alternating chest tightening pleasure between my sex filling me up to capacity my flesh still receiving the striking blows of paddles and crops I desired to remain like this forever if god would allow it. Hearing Lt throughout my punishment whisper the dominating things I said to her just moments before I was now her bitch and knew it. I was instructed to count off(to count off means you chose a number, for every strike that you consider good or need that second to process you count. once you reached your number the fun and games were over). I chose 5, until I called out a number Sir waled on me. One right after the other hard powerful blows that I carefully debated within myself do I want to be that much closer to this being over by calling out or can I cowboy up and take it with breath and in a small part I also wanted to please my Sir with each strike taking them as only his little one could. Once 5 was reached my Sir stood before me and asked what was it you came here to do? I grinned like a child on Christmas eve and said worship my Sirs Cock, Sir. Well get to it then. My body now assuming all fours I took Sir into me with great pleasure. After challenging lt's insistence to fist me, I was just too tight and Sir backing me up saying that yes I was indeed be too tight. I knew she would try no matter what we said. Her eagerness was painful but I focused on Sir inside me along my tongue, my lips, the texture of his balls VS cock and the pleasure it brought me as it never had before with any other. Lt admitted defeat and I now had an audience. It was a strange sensation my experience with Sir on this day, we were not connected. I was performing a service but his connection was locked within lt. Jealousy was not a factor just a small sense of loss but it did not effect me. Feeling him, hearing him and knowing this was a result of his little one and her Sir. It was an interesting feeling being watched by the man you are sucking off's wife watching you and only watching you. I found I enjoyed it, Looking up I see Sir kiss her passionately and with that Sir came inside me harder then Ive ever known him to cum. As usual one is not enough for me. I continue to worship his now exhausted cock and emptied balls until I feel them grow full and hard again and given time came again to his little one. I arrived at my Sirs home around 9am I left shortly after 12:30am. Our time together was as my friends put it right out of a porn, this would not be our only threesome or our only night out under the lights, Sir and I for all to see and I hope they will not be the last. When speaking with dear friends I trust about it they all find it hard to believe that could not have fallen in love given the circumstances and how did I not feel jealous. All I could do is to try to explain it like this. I love sir yes, but it is not in the way you label love. It is liken a mother with her children and husband, you love both however the type of love differs. It is the same with Sir and I. He is my first Sir, he has been many many firsts for me and I cant express what he has given me. I even found myself crying many times during and after our final morning together I was moving away from this experience. I have never loved so strongly or so purely however it is not a love that I am willing to bet anyone not in a DS relationship can fathom. I don't want to marry him, date him, I am not jealous when he tells me of other women I actually enjoy it or feel possessive when I do not hear from him in days. I am Sirs little one, I am a worry wart by nature always have been so I do have moments of concern i have upset him but he is patient and just reassures me that I am safe and still his little one. what a gift, I will always love my sir and what he has given me, and will miss him and my Little tease. I plan to make the trip to Utah as often as i am able to see my Sir and little tease until then I have been charged with the task of finding someone to fill the space I left behind. A very small part of me fears she will replace the spot he once held for his little one however as his little one my duty is to my Sir if he asks it of me I will obey and I find pleasure in knowing he is being served and pleasured in my absence what more could a little one ask for. I will not find a replacement for my "old man" however I desire the pain against my flesh the community in which to grown and possibly a new Sir to serve and explore this new found side of Aiyana.